Marriage

Marriage is to be regressed
once again to adolescence
sitting in a dark womb of solitude and music
avoiding the dread contention of family life
Garcia mentions the celibacy of marriage
is worse than that of virginity
as there is no hope of reprieve over time
This I have learned too well
It was brought home to me that
should you divorce for any grounds
the church will never allow you to marry
live as an adulterer or a fornicator, yes
but never leave your unhappy house
and find a new and honourable love
and divorce itself leads one to believe
a new love is just the same set of problems
wrapped in a momentary blissful lie

Frozen Stone Past

The sun is shining in
uncharacteristically abundant for January
a normally welcome boon
in a generally loveless month
This light this day imparts sadness to me

I weight my vital essence
against the shimmering insolidity
of my reflection in the window
it is hard to gauge which is more
dirty, sun streaked, and wane

I tremble at the thought of death
compelled by yearning not fear
and a pulsing ignoble pathos
and me weakness drains the warmth
from that January sun I steal
with my weak little baby heart

I miss the past where I was glorious
I hate this future of stilled vigor
where I am feebly entombed in crepe and time
I love the elements of water and earth
but I am a lava field not a mountain peak